yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
