I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
