we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
