I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
