is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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