I hope mine doesn't look like that
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
