My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
