we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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