how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
