there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Can I color on your dick again?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
