Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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