Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
What drink are we having for lunch?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
