Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
