i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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