wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
