I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
