lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
