Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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