He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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