If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
