literally had 100 drinks last night.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
