drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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