Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
