no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
