I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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