It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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