Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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