Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
