Acid is not a monday night drug
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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