You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
