I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
