So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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