Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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