I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
