Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
