dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
