I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
