I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
my shit smells like andre
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
