Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
