If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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