I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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