I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
