We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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