If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
