jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
