i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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