I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
