Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
