just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
