I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
